What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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