What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
