Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
