is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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