I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize