watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
