Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
