Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
