idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Let's get the cat blown out
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
