halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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