you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
