He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
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Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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