In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
