I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
