Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
