wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
