Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
