I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
