no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
