Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
