so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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