I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
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I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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