if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
