Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
