guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
