I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
