Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
