the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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