It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
