My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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