I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
