I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
