jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
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