That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
