I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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