i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
