I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
