NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
