seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
