Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
