Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
