no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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