i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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