Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
