Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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