gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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