so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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