If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
