The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
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I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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