how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
