Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
