I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
