k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize