Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
