Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
