the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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