Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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