I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
