remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
