u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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