all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
