his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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