What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
