we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
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