Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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