Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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