Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
