hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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