plz talk dirty to me
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
