Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
