so explain again why im purple
no
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
